Courage and sensitivity

October 2015

My friends are the best

I seriously have the best friends ever. If I'm going to be honest, I probably wasn't the best friend I could have been before this summer. That is not to say that I didn't try, but rather that I didn't know. That is, I didn't know how to be a better friend. I didn't realize how important communication and follow-ups can be.

That is, until now. Because I have realized that I have fantastic friends who are there for me always. Who stay up late to talk. Who ask me how I'm doing when I haven't talked to them in a few days after a bad breakup. Who ask me how to help me through the grief of losing someone I love. Who want to become better people and ask me how to help them achieve it. Who tell me what I want to hear and what I need to hear (and discerning between the different times).

And I love them. I absolutely love them and I try to let them know that as much as possible. They mean the world to me and I know I would not have gotten as far as I am now without their help. Without them being there for me, and without them showing that they care. 

This realization of how much these people mean to me lifts me up and makes me feel like my battles are fought with an army. I lead and make the decisions, but they are the medic crew on the side to patch me up afterwards.

And now I've observed and seen how I can emulate these friendship characteristics. I intend to be a better person. I will strive to become the friend(s) I am glad I have.

September 2015

autumn is here

Who's excited for autumn?? I love the the falling leaves and the smell of the crisp air. The possibility of new starts....

October 2015

Love hurts, but we should never close ourselves off from it

This has been the hardest summer I have had since I can remember. And you may scoff, make a comment about how I've only been alive a little more than two decades, and how I have so much more time in my future. But in this stage of my life where I am still growing and finding myself, my friends, and my future, hits like this--straight to my heart and core--can take me down for the count.

There are three types of love that I have: romantic, familial, and friendship. And each of these loves has hurt me. It's devastating. Any one by itself is horrible, but all three in the span of three months makes me feel like I'm never going to get up again. It makes me want to give up on love. What's the point?

But then I remember that love hurts, we grow from it, and life moves on. If I harden, hate, or become bitter, I can only end up hurting myself and my future. Marcie, a wonderful woman who has gotten me through so much of this, reminds me of how important it is to keep myself open to love. Romantic love can fade back to friendship, familial love will never die and continues to persevere and hold us together, and friendship love continues even after death.

I need to remember to not let the world make me hard. To not let pain make me hate. And to not let the bitterness steal my sweetness.

September 2015

Kindness is free

People often question why I choose to be nice no matter what. Or why I choose to forgive. And for awhile I didn't know the answer. It was just something I grew up doing. But now I choose to do both because I hate carrying negativity around. I am so disheartened when I find people who are taken down so hard because of the negativity resting in their hearts. Kindness and forgiveness are free. So why aren't we utilizing them?

September 2015

Also, behold my foray back into calligraphy. It's still a work in progress, but I was inspired by my grandfather. He passed earlier this month, and as I sat in his hospital room during his last week with us, I spent a lot of time remembering all the experiences I had with him. He never actually taught me calligraphy, but he taught my mother when she was younger, and in turn she taught me. It is an art form that connects our three generations.

Keep giving love

September 2015

This by far has not been my summer. Not for lack of trying--this was the first time I made lots of plans for my future and went in head first. But obstacle after obstacle knocked me over. There have been so many times this summer where I have wanted to stop getting back up and  just give up. To stop forgiving, stop loving, and just cut myself off from emotion. But then I remember (or someone reminds me) that keeping all that negativity does nothing good or healing for the world or me. Adding to the negativity in the world makes the world (get this) more negative, and prevents me from wanting to pursue happiness. What do I get out of that? Nothing. Feeling worse. But Love heals, and love helps me forgive so I can move on and become happy again. And that is important to me.

Summer Cacti!

One of my best friends is the Cactus Whisperer. Her name is Diana, and I absolutely adore her. We've been friends since high school and are now majoring in the same major. She and I love cacti--they're so cute! I love how they are often quite tiny and fragile, so they have such delicate yet harmful spikes to protect themselves (I could make a comment about the symbolism of being vulnerable yet slightly prickly...but I'm not. Well, I just did. So sue me.).

Diana has this perfectly round cactus that stays a rich grass-green, and flowers every year. A delicate ring of bright magenta flowers settle on the crown. I myself have a small cactus that is supposed to have one large pink flower on the top. I've had it since I was five, and it has flowered exactly once. I swear, Diana is magic. Her cactus loves her more than mine loves me.

I have other stories about our love for cacti: Going to a flower shop on Valentine's day to check out their prickly succulents and completely ignoring all the roses, check; another time, popping in to see if a flower shop in Chinatown has any cacti and leaving with promises to call the owner for flowers for our weddings when we get married, check. These things just happen, right?

But onto the art. This is an art blog, after all (you wouldn't know with all the jabbering I do on it, though). I broke out the watercolors earlier this summer on a particularly warm day. The paints kept drying out within minutes! I experimented with a few different cacti styles, and then decided to use two of my favorites to make a card design.

(Excuse the small size of the next few pictures. I stole them from my instagram)

This photo has a filter on it, so it's been washed out a bit. But you can see that I fiddled around with formatting and finally got it to fit neat and tidy on a card! The background is my study notes for the OAT I'm studying for at the moment (it's killer, but I keep reminding myself, at least you're not studying for the MCAT! Haha).

And finally, here is the computerized, fixed up version with the real colors and details. I think it's just so adorable!

July 2015

My family's new pet...tree

When my dad was in Boy Scouts, he planted a Sequoia Gigantia tree in his parents' backyard. Now, over 40 years later, it's a gigantic tree that towers over the backyard, lending lots of shade. Now, he wants to plant another one in our backyard. So over Spring break while we were California, we bought a Sequoia sapling at a gift shop (what? I know...) and brought it back. It currently resides in its own pot on our back porch.

I keep joking that this is our family's new beloved tree because they said a dog was too difficult to take care of. ;) So far, Sequoia hasn't wilted yet, and has had lots of new growth. Her new tips emerge as a lighter green and then later obtain their rich dark green we're used to.

I decided to whip out my watercolors and paint her portrait to remember her baby-years.

I painted straight into my sketchbook, and was surprised the paper held up so well. I have been trying to hold back on the water to avoid the paper-curling phenomenon I've been battling.

And here's the scanned in version:

July 2015

Love on a Rooftop

Have you heard about the guy who live-tweeted his neighbor's breakup? I'm stuck between feeling that he crossed the boundary of tact (a bit inappropriate to share it all online--between friends, sure, I gossip with my friends. But on Twitter? I think that's a bit far.) and a bit amused that they almost caught him but didn't (now I'll always be suspicious of people on roofs next to me....).

But a gem of a quote came out of the whole ordeal: "I'm not talking about love on a rooftop in Brooklyn" is the perfect meta, and a line that sounds like it was straight from a romantic movie. *Swoon*, that's the romantic in me. Of course for my life, "I'm not talking about love over the phone from my bedroom floor" just doesn't have the same ring to it, eh?

Anyways, I've had this quote pinned to my Quotes board on Pinterest for awhile, and was inspired after watching a few Typography how-to and my process videos on YouTube. I am so thankful for all the artists out there who make time-lapse videos, tutorials, hints, etc. for beginners and other noobs like me. If you're interested in looking at some amazing typography videos, you should check out madebymarzipan. Her videos are concise and incredibly helpful. I especially used her tips from her accents video about adding arrows, banners, lines, and other illustrations to help the words come alive. As far as the lettering itself, I'm still having a little difficulty trying to deviate from my normal handwriting and reaching out into different type-fonts. It's much harder than I was anticipating! 

July 2015

Horse in the style of Traditional brush painting

I'm experimenting with new art styles and subjects this summer. I was recently looking up pictures of the Chinese character for horse, ma, and stumbled across some beautifully done paintings of horses in the traditional Chinese brush style. Brush paintings are supposed to capitalize on the negative space, showing just enough lines to recognize the subject. I like the lightness this style lends--the feeling of movement like you can't quite capture the subject because it's too busy being full of life.

I didn't have my watercolors with me so I tried to duplicate the style with pen instead. I I found it interesting, experimenting with the thickness and lightness of the lines. You can tell where I started, fully filling in the black, and then when I learned to ease up and open the coloring to allow the paper to show through.

July 2015

Inspired by this

Darth Vader and the Death Star

My friend (the same one who recently adopted the a new dog, Dash) just turned 30! We keep teasing him that he's finally an adult now, haha. But it's really kind of true. Your twenties are spent making mistakes and learning to live on your own. You're trying to find out who you are and who you want to be. And sure, we spend the rest of our lives doing all of those over again. But hopefully we're slowly learning how to become better, more successful people.

I absolutely adore this guy, and I know he loves Star Wars (he and his girlfriend have a room dedicated to Star Wars. It--and they--are adorable). So for his birthday card, I made this super cute kid-Darth Vader holding a Death Star balloon. It was inspired by an illustration I found on Pinterest and a few cartoon sketches of kids.

I really like how it turned out, and I think this is one of the first times I've used different textures and media in the same drawing. (And I can't get enough of my new pen, haha).

July 2015

Adventure is Waiting

During all four years of high school, I was part of my school's Rocket Club. We were fortunate enough that half of our club was girls! In the rocketry and STEM world, this is crazy-talk. In a world where NASA wondered if 100 tampons would be enough for Sally Ride's week-long voyage in space, and 18-20% of engineering students in the US are female, having 50% of our club (which grew to 50 members) was huge.

But I didn't fully appreciate this equilibrium of genders until we went to competitions and events where other high school and college rocket teams met us. They were ecstatic to meet our team members and talk with us. We were less thrilled about being hit on or thought inferior. But it all comes with the territory and we learned to stand up for ourselves and prove what we knew. It also bonded the team together: the girls would rescue each other from guys who couldn't take a hint, and the guys would tell the other boys to back off or respect us.

This one time at an outreach event, two guys came sniggering up to me and asked me if I could tell them "everything you know" about this "big guy", referring to the 6-foot-tall rocket propped up next to me. "Don't worry, take your time and consult your notes if you have to." Snigger. Well, it turns out I was the Project Manager of the team that built this rocket, and they did say "everything". As soon as I straightened up, looked them in the eye, and started rattling off the structure, stats, and science of the rocket, they looked at each other wide-eyed, and realized their mistake. Ha.

But that aside, I love science, and I love the wonder and romance of space. It is symbolic of what we as humans can reach beyond, find, and accomplish. And it reminds me of the childhood innocence from October Sky and Up (side note: those first 10 minutes of Up are my relationship goals. But then again, whose aren't?).

So when I ran across this quote on Pinterest or Instagram (too many inspirational platforms to keep track of!), I knew I had to do something with it.

June 2015

(the signature, like all my others, are added to prevent art theft. I'm working on making it prettier. Eventually.)

Also as a sidenote, if you find yourself in the Seattle area with someone who likes airplanes or rockets, or flight of any kind like that (yourself, possibly? Obviously.), you should check out the Museum of Flight. I have been volunteering with them since 2011, and it is a fantastic place to explore.

Take 2 on my Pug Watercolor

Recently, one of my best friends from the Salle I fence at adopted a puppy with his girlfriend. He's a golden retriever named Dash and he's the cutest puppy ever (and becoming quite well-trained!). Dash has the energy of a three-year-old, and the plush fur of my childhood stuffed bear.

Inspired by Dash and all the cute pictures of my friends' kids showing up on my Instagram (They're much older than me; I'm much too young to support kids in my life now!), I redid the "Pugs before drugs" image with a different phrase. I love the take on "Cute as a bug" and have seriously started adoring this little dog.

Also, I got to use my new pen I gushed about here!

July 2015

Portrait: Fawzie

Fawzie is a velociraptor. I feel like this is the beginning of a book, haha.

Fawzie is my friend's child. Like, actually. She and her boyfriend have a photo album devoted to him and his friends, and her mother calls Fawzie her grandchild. He's just under a foot tall, has soft brown fur with tufts of yellow hair, and most importantly, the eye furrowed in disdain. And he is well loved. 

Recently, amidst the difficulties I've been having in my personal life, Fawzie was there for me to hold and pet and cuddle. And I am greatly appreciative of him. (Aren't soft, cuddly items so incredibly comforting when you're feeling like everything is falling apart??)

I think this is the very first full watercolor painting I've ever done before. I've been watching YouTube videos on watercolor techniques and how to prevent the paper from curling, and was very excited to try to put all this new information to good use. I've still got a long way to go, but the process was very cathartic and I loved how I could manipulate the colors and textures.

July 2015

New pen, new quote, and a curve in my life

This is a long post, but please bear with me.

This past week has been a real curveball for me. In possibly one of the worst ways possible. But my friends have rallied around me, and believe me, they are Life. I love them each to death, and every little thing they do (even something as simple as "How are you doing today?") means the world to me.

I have two things I want to talk about in today's post. The first is about my new pen. My usual go-to pen for drawing is this one. I buy packs of 12 at my office supply store, and while a bit pricey (and occasionally smear-able if I'm not careful with my erasing), they make a nice clean line. But I finally decided to branch out and find a thicker pen with a felt-like tip. I used to do a bit of calligraphy when I was younger, and I hoped a broader-tipped pen would help me revisit that phase of my life. So far, I love it. It's so nice to have a thick line I can use to practice and improve my typography. The tip is thick and pretty even, and the ink is a very nice black. So I'm quite ecstatic about the new opportunities from this.

The other thing I wanted to talk about is a bit heavier. I want to talk about how to help a friend who is going through a difficult time with a relationship. This is something I myself was bad at until I had a relationship end (four years after my Bestie's first relationship ended--I'm so sorry I didn't know how to comfort you, Sweetie!), and I want to give a tip to the people out there who are confronted with a friend going through a difficult situation but don't have the experience to know what to do to help them. In the wake of my situation (I call it The PS right now), my friends fell into two groups: those who had had at least one relationship, and those who had never had a relationship. I don't want to sound like I'm ungrateful or unappreciative of my friends who didn't know what to do with me, because I'm not. It means the world that they tried when they were out of their depth and comfort zone. I love them for that. But there's one question I wish they had asked me: "Do you want to talk about it?" It opens the door for me to make my choice if I want to cry over it or change the subject and distract myself. And this makes a difference. It doesn't mean I want advice they may not know how to give, or pressure to make me feel better. It just leaves the door open for me to talk. I think it's the best thing a friend can ask me.

So I think I got a little bit off-topic, but my latest art comes from the hailstorm of a week I've had. It's a quote from Christopher Robin, and I think it embodies the feelings I have right now or hope to believe in the future.

If you made it through these blocks of words, thanks for reading about the update in my life. I hope you are having a better week than me.

July 2015

Pugs Not Drugs (finally finished!)

Here's the final end result of the Pugs Not Drugs WIP! It's a mixture of graphite, ink, and watercolors. The watermark (on the lower left) was added on the computer just for blogging purposes.

I'm quite happy with how it turned out.

Here are parts One and Two of the WIP before this stage.

June 2015

Prettiest Princess Tiara

Remember that crown I drew earlier? And how I said there was a story behind it? Well, I ended up using a different drawing but kept the idea:

You may think this is for a small child who loves princesses and tiaras, but you'd be wrong. I made this for one of my best friends. He's turning 21.

I met him through the uni's Fencing Club at the very beginning of Freshman year of Uni. For the entire first quarter plus break (this is somewhere around 13 weeks), I'm embarrassed to admit that all I knew about him (keeping in mind we have a small club and he was one of the only two people in my year) was his name. It wasn't until the first day back for Winter quarter that I realized a) we had a class together b) he lived near me c) he um, existed. As a person, and all. Ahem. But then I made up for that by asking him to join my brother and me for dinner. That makes up for it, right?

A birthday tradition we have at the fencing Salle is that the birthday person gets to wear the pretty tiara and has to fence everybody. From experience, this is both fun and terrifying at the same time when you're the youngest and just beginning, haha. But this year, my friend is currently in California this summer during his birthday, so he doesn't get to wear the pretty tiara and be a pretty princess for his birthday. So to make up for this atrocity, I made this for his birthday card. I hope it gives him a laugh.

July 2015

For every girl's girlfriends

One thing I've learned in my relationship endeavors is that my girlfriends will always be there for me. So this is for them.

Inspired by the first time I heard "Bros before Hoes" from Transformers and thought it was hilarious (I was in 8th grade), cute Korean dramas (tiny bit obsessed with Boys Over Flowers), and hipsters (because it's Seattle...).

June 2015

It was Father's Day. I'm Late.

Here's something about me: I'm always late...when I'm traveling with my family. And all our friends know it. They know that "It starts at 4:00" will mean that we'll show up at 4:45...or so. But it only happens when I'm traveling with my family. When I'm by myself, I will almost always show up on time. I hate the feeling of being late. In all of high school and Uni when I finally got to choose when I left the house, I've never been late to class.

But I'm now figuring out, when it comes to blog posts and holidays, I'm late. Oops. Maybe I could just date and time stamp this post to an earlier date and pretend that it was always up on the blog?

Anyways, here's my Father's Day art post, just a mere 12 days late. I made these into cards and we sent them off to my grandparents. We even did it in time for Father's Day, yay!

I hope y'all had an enjoyable Father's Day however you and your family chooses to enjoy it (we had cod over a salad with delicious apricot dressing--homemade! And visited the Chittenden Locks in Ballard for our tradition of listening to the Elliott Bay Pipe Band).

June 2015

You're a beautiful cupcake

Here's a first look at a new drawing (made during finals week de-stressing at midnight), its subsequent scan and coloring, and the (almost) final product on a card!

Behold, the awful light from the lamp on my bed:

And my attempt at a cupcake on the right. I actually consulted pinterest for what a cupcake looks like (just more proof that cupcakes and I have been parted for too long, right?)

The scan into my computer did it much more justice:

This might be one of my favorite quotes.

June 2015