My friends are the best

I seriously have the best friends ever. If I'm going to be honest, I probably wasn't the best friend I could have been before this summer. That is not to say that I didn't try, but rather that I didn't know. That is, I didn't know how to be a better friend. I didn't realize how important communication and follow-ups can be.

That is, until now. Because I have realized that I have fantastic friends who are there for me always. Who stay up late to talk. Who ask me how I'm doing when I haven't talked to them in a few days after a bad breakup. Who ask me how to help me through the grief of losing someone I love. Who want to become better people and ask me how to help them achieve it. Who tell me what I want to hear and what I need to hear (and discerning between the different times).

And I love them. I absolutely love them and I try to let them know that as much as possible. They mean the world to me and I know I would not have gotten as far as I am now without their help. Without them being there for me, and without them showing that they care. 

This realization of how much these people mean to me lifts me up and makes me feel like my battles are fought with an army. I lead and make the decisions, but they are the medic crew on the side to patch me up afterwards.

And now I've observed and seen how I can emulate these friendship characteristics. I intend to be a better person. I will strive to become the friend(s) I am glad I have.

September 2015

autumn is here

Who's excited for autumn?? I love the the falling leaves and the smell of the crisp air. The possibility of new starts....

October 2015

Love hurts, but we should never close ourselves off from it

This has been the hardest summer I have had since I can remember. And you may scoff, make a comment about how I've only been alive a little more than two decades, and how I have so much more time in my future. But in this stage of my life where I am still growing and finding myself, my friends, and my future, hits like this--straight to my heart and core--can take me down for the count.

There are three types of love that I have: romantic, familial, and friendship. And each of these loves has hurt me. It's devastating. Any one by itself is horrible, but all three in the span of three months makes me feel like I'm never going to get up again. It makes me want to give up on love. What's the point?

But then I remember that love hurts, we grow from it, and life moves on. If I harden, hate, or become bitter, I can only end up hurting myself and my future. Marcie, a wonderful woman who has gotten me through so much of this, reminds me of how important it is to keep myself open to love. Romantic love can fade back to friendship, familial love will never die and continues to persevere and hold us together, and friendship love continues even after death.

I need to remember to not let the world make me hard. To not let pain make me hate. And to not let the bitterness steal my sweetness.

September 2015